The Golden Coin (#13)

Tags

Six Sentence Sunday, Vampire

Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema [Public domain], via WikiPaintings

“Please,” I whispered, touching his lips. Did they know I’d sought Nubian whores to quench the fires they’d fanned in my loins? I moaned as his hands caressed my thighs, moving ever higher.
His mouth reached the soft skin between my legs as Hewa held me and kissed my face. I stiffened as she reached my throat. “Relax, I will not bite,” she whispered, then added, “unless you want me to.”

---

This is an original story, chronicling how three of the characters of my upcoming novelette, The Vampire’s Gallery, met. What you missed can be found here. It’s part of Six Sentence Sunday. Click the link for more awesome stories!
Please note: This is set around 1 BC, and is light when it comes to historical accuracy. I mean, no one’s going to whip out some matches or a PSP, but there are probably details I’ll get wrong.

Alice and the Warden: A Superjail! Smut

Tags

Free erotica, Free smut, Superjail smut, Superjail!

9/30, the new season of Superjail! starts on Cartoon Network! Hurray!

To celebrate, I bring you Alice and the Warden: An Uncensored Superjail! Smut.

Fans, I hope you find this and get a kick out of it. I don’t know how well the visual style of the show translates to text, but I tried.

18+, Transexual, nonconsent, sex change.

For those of you not familiar with the series, Alice is the transexual guard the Warden lusts after.

---

Gazing at Alice’s picture, the Warden sighed.

“I don’t understand, why won’t she love me?” he asked his reflection. His purple beaver hair top hat was perfection, as was his lemon silk shirt, carnation bow tie, and matching purple tuxedo.

“Jailbot!”

The cheerful automaton appeared, idly throttling Jacknife.

“Get me the Doctor.”

A screen popped out of Jailbot’s side and the sound of shrieks filled the room. On the green monitor tentacles writhed around a white blob.

“Oh, that’s right my little experiment, fuck your daddy,” the Doctor moaned.

The Warden was disgusted to realize the pale shape jiggling was the Doctor’s ass. “Doctor!”

“Oh, Warden, uh…what can I do for you?”

“I want you to make me a love potion, so Alice will fall in love with me.”

The Doctor’s dick made a loud POP as it came out whatever hole it was shoved in. “Love is complicated. Do you want to come visit my experiment X?”

“No, make me a love potion!” The Warden threw a bottle of cologne at the screen and Jacknife howled as the shattered glass embedded in his face, the wounds bathed in cologne. Jailbot zipped from the room, leaving the Warden to sulk.

Clapping his hands, his caterpillar ride appeared. He bothered The Gays, yelled at Jared, and went stomping around the pumpkin patch until the peas and carrots chased him out.

Cue Eurotrash house music (unst unst unst unst)

The Twins snooped in to see what the Doctor was researching, then zapped back to their base.

“If it’s a love potion the Warden wants…” one said.

“Then we’ll have to help him…”

Information about hormones and female gentalia flew by on their screen as they devised a surprise for the Warden.

A week later, and the Warden was throwing pennies in a fountain, wishing for love.

“Warden! Warden, I’ve done it!” The Doctor held in his hand a glowing pink vial.

“You’ve done what?” the Warden asked in a peevish mood.

“I’ve made you a love potion. Here, drink this, and you will become irresistible to those around you.”

The Warden gave a girlish squeal, tapped his cane, and rode a rainbow into his office. He pressed a button on the intercom. “Alice! I need you now!”

Alice grunted, “Fine.”

Giggling, the Warden downed the solution.

Alice slammed the door open. The Warden swooned, his gaze lingering over her flame red hair, the dark stubble over her full lips, the luscious curve of her tits in her uniform, the mysterious bulge in her skirt, her muscular thighs. “What?” she grunted.

Her eyes widened and she stepped toward the Warden.

The Warden smiled and muttered to himself, “The potion is working.”

To his shock, the potion was doing more than attracting Alice. The Warden’s shirt grew uncomfortably tight and his dick turned itself inside out and burrowed into him as his balls atrophied.

He looked down and screamed, “I’m a woman!”

“And what a woman,” Alice said. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m gonna fuck that pussy.”

The Warden squeaked as she threw him across the desk, tearing off his pants. Pulling up her skirt, she shed her tighty whities, revealing a fat hard cock.

“Take off your shirt and let me see those titties,” Alice said, rubbing her drooling dick on the Warden’s slit.

With trembling hands the Warden unbuttoned his shirt. He’d dreamed of his time together with Alice, but it wasn’t like this. It was all candles and roses and bubble baths, and he was the man.

Alice bit his nipple and he squealed. “Alice, stop it, I don’t like that,” he said even as his new pussy drooled.

Alice slid a finger into his slippery cunt. “I think you do like it Warden.” She dropped her shirt on the floor and smashed her tits against the Warden’s.

The Warden looked down to see his hard nipples rubbing against Alice’s pink thick nipples. He squirmed on her finger, working it further into his twat.

“God, you’re so tight Warden, are you a virgin?”

“N…no,” the Warden replied, his face turning red.

Alice worked another finger into his pussy and he winced. “Oh, I think you are, at least this pussy is.” She crouched between his thighs and lapped his oozing twat. “I’ll tell you what Warden, suck my dick, and I’ll make sure you leave this room a real woman.”

Alice flopped into the Warden’s chair, grabbing his hair and forcing his head down into her groin.

Her crotch smelled like sweat and yeast. The Warden opened his mouth, feeling the smooth head fill his mouth and push back into his throat. “Nngg…” he protested.

“That’s good, suck my cock Warden,” Alice said, her hips bucking into the Warden’s mouth. She pressed his head down on her cock until her pubic hair tickled his lips and held him there as he struggled for air, tears streaming from his eyes.

The Warden came up, gasping, and as soon as he gulped down a lungful, Alice shoved him back on her cock. He could hear his sinuses creaking as her cock stretched out his throat. He got into a rhythm of sucking in air as Alice let him up before plunging her dick back into his mouth.

Alice grunted as her dick swelled. “Not so fast sweet lips, I’m not coming in your mouth, I’m coming in your pussy.” She let the Warden fall limp to the ground, spit smeared all over his cheeks and chin. “I’m going to make you beg for my dick,” she said, picking up the Warden’s thighs and burying her face between them. She laved his pussy lips until he was straining to get his hot little clit in her mouth.

“Oh Alice! Keep licking my pussy!” he said, twisting his nipples.

Alice tongued his clit and the Warden’s whole body convulsed. An unbearable pressure coiled low in his stomach and he exploded in Alice’s mouth. Unlike his usual orgasm from whacking off to her picture, this one kept going, washing over him in waves until his toes curled and his hands clenched Alice’s hair.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about.” She brutally thrust her cock in the Warden, making him cry out in pain. He tried to wriggle away but Alice gripped his ass, holding him still to plunder his pussy.

The pain subsided, and the Warden was surprised to find he enjoyed the fullness of Alice’s cock in him. Her sweat dripped in his face and he pulled her down to suckle her tits as she fucked him. Arching his back, he took more and more of her punishing dick into his virgin pussy. The Warden reached down to flick his clit as Alice pushed his ankles around his neck.

Furiously rubbing his clit, the Warden felt his pussy clench on Alice’s cock. Another orgasm washed over him, his cunt milking Alice’s dick. She painted the inside of his pussy with her jizz and kept fucking him, she was so hot for the Warden.

Alice shoved herself in the Warden up to the hilt, her balls bouncing off his thighs, spooge dripping out of his twat.

“Oh Alice, fuck me Alice, fuck me!”

“You got it boss.” Alice positioned the Warden so she could take him doggie style. She pummeled him, her balls slapped the back of his hand as he fidgeted with his clit. Touching it lightly, he felt something new in his pussy, a different kind of pressure, and in another moment he was girl gushing all over his fingers. The Warden stuck his finger in his mouth, tasting this brand new pussy juice.

Alice moaned. “Suck your fingers you little bitch.” She loaded her hand up with cum and stuffed it in the Warden’s mouth. “Now suck mine, you filthy whore.”

The Warden sucked on her fat sausage fingers and made himself come again. This time Alice blew her load too. Pulling out her dick, she sprayed jizz all over all over his ass, then passed out on top of the Warden, sated.

The Warden rolled over to hold his delightful love nymph as she slept. She woke an hour later, punched him in the face and threatened to kill him if he told anyone about them.

For the next hour, the Warden jerked his meat thinking about Alice’s tits, happy to have his dick back.

A few months later, the Warden’s belly started to swell. Jared is running a profitable gambling ring, with people betting over the due date and identity of the father. The Doctor is studying the phenomena while the Twins say nothing and smile.

(unst unst unst unst)

Cover Design: Some Basics

Tags

cover design, GIMP

So, here are a few things I’ve figured out that are probably applicable to whatever you’re doing. Two things which bear repeating (like the mantra that to be a writer, one must read and write) are:

1) The title must be readable.

2) The thumbnail must look nice.

Ultimately, while you’re trying to entice a reader to pick up your book, you’re also trying to convey useful information, hence you want your title to be easily readable. If you’re having the problem where you’re putting a title over a busy background, you can take the path tool, draw a box around the text (hit ctrl to close the box), copy the path to the selection, and using a new transparent layer, dump a color into the box with the bucket tool. If you want the background to show through, you can make that layer transparent (in the layers dock, right near the top you’ll find a slider for that). Please note: if you anchor down the layer, you will lose the transparency. You need to merge the layers instead.

Here’s some more general advice.

Do it again

It’s fine to use your first draft of a cover if you just want to get the damn thing out the door (I understand that), but you’ll probably want to design at least a couple of different looks. And when you’re first learning how to deal with hair, masks, etc. it’s okay to start from scratch if you get frustrated. At this point, you probably need the practice.

When I find my books are doing nothing, like absolutely nothing, I go a redesign my covers. I love the garden look I have for Love on the 500, but it’s not moving books so it has to go. I’m getting ready to publish Gutter Punk soon, the second book, and I’ll probably try and redesign Love on the 500 to work with that cover. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t bummed out though, because I worked hard on that cover.

Don’t be afraid

Ctrl+z as many times as you need. Look up five different tutorials until you get it. I’ve found that fooling around with stuff, I’ve figured out a lot. Using the curves on the path tool can be a little clunky at first, but you’ll get the hang of it. Take a break too if you need it, because it can be frustrating.

The eyedropper is a great tool

In order to keep a cohesive feel, I often use the eyedropper tool. Like, for bokeh dots, I’ll use the highlight color of the woman’s hair. For the garden cover of Love in the 500, I used the same hue of blue and red throughout, and if you write down that number (it will be among the first sliders available) you can make it lighter and darker as needed. Using the same colors will help tie the whole image together. For my Tale of Two Clitties cover, I colorized the background of the bottom image to match the blue from the top image. With the right hue, I just eyeballed the other attributes (saturation and vibrancy).

Creating the feeling of dimension

Using darker hues, smaller sizes, and sliding around the layers so things overlap can create the illusion of dimension.

You can do so much with the copy feature

You can copy things into new layers, new images, as brushes, whatever you want! I’ve had a lot of fun with this feature. I wanted to create a kind of shadow effect with the title of this one story, so I made a brush out of the title, set the transparency to about 50% so I could get this kind of after image effect. I don’t know if it worked that well, but it was fun.

If GIMP gets wonky…

Maybe uninstall some of those brushes. It could just be the version I have (I’m not sure when it was updated) but if I install all of Obsidian Dawn’s brushes, it gets super freaking clunky.

You can do a lot with masks

If you’re working on hair or something, remember coloring something black on the mask will make it transparent, and coloring it white will make it opaque. I use masks for lots of things. When I make a box for text, I like to have texture on it. With a mask, I can make sure I’m just coloring on the box and not all around it. For text, if you want to have a kind of beat up look, you can make it look distressed by adding a quick mask and putting a texture on it.

Some of the things I’m talking about are at an intermediate level as opposed to basic. Understanding them will allow you to do a lot more with your covers. There is an element of trial and error to this. I’m not the best at making covers, but it is something I enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it, you’re probably better off hiring a cover artist (advice for that here). If you don’t have the money, make a basic cover, because it’s better than nothing.

What every woman needs after a long night of hot sex…

Tags

typo

He made her come until Vanessa pushed him away, her hands hanging limp off her wrists. She was exhausted, sated, after her men. Brandon drew her a warm path and helped her into it.

Mm…I bet it’s some nice smooth river rock, at least I hope it is and not like gravel. Also, about that first sentence, I don’t know about it. I’m not ready to make a judgement call yet, but the limp wrist hanging might have to go. I have a feeling it’s going to get rewritten six times before it’s cut. I’ve been trying “sated” instead of “satiated” lately as well, just to mix things up.

The Golden Coin (#12)

Tags

Six Sentence Sunday, SSS, Vampire

Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema [Public domain], via WikiPaintings

“We do need you to remain silent, but I’m sure we can work out a deal,” she said, stroking my hair.
My heart sped again at the sensual tones of her voice.
Her husband’s dark chuckle startled me. He moved to kneel in front of me, his hand closing over my calf. “I think I have something you will like.” With a smile, he kissed my knee.

---

This is an original story, chronicling how three of the characters of my upcoming novelette, The Vampire’s Gallery, met. What you missed can be found here. It’s part of Six Sentence Sunday. Click the link for more awesome stories!
Please note: This is set around 1 BC, and is light when it comes to historical accuracy. I mean, no one’s going to whip out some matches or a PSP, but there are probably details I’ll get wrong.

A Delicious Pairing: Pan’s Labyrinth and The Secret History of Fantasy

I think both Guillermo del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth and The Secret History of Fantasy are brilliant examples of the versatility of fantasy.

Pan’s Labyrinth is a lush grave film, evoking both terror and delight, though I think the young actress who plays Ofelia says it better: “…it’s a movie that makes you use all these feelings, such as sadness, to be scared, to be happy…” (Sci Fi Weekly).

In regards to The Secret History of Fantasy, it’s a collection of short stories. If you’re in a bit of a reading slump, there’s nothing like a book of short stories to get you back in the swing of things.

Okay, now I have to go to bed so I can get up early and ride the bus downtown to the social security office so I can legally change my name and vote because PA is lame.

Geek Love Anthology and Other Adventures

So, as a backer of the Geek Love Anthology, I get project updates. #10 included the stunning opener from Kirsty Logan’s story “The Purpose of Tongues”. I don’t know if I’m supposed to share it with you, but as a writer, I experienced the awe and envy that really good prose produces. Like, were Kirsty Logan standing in front of me, I wouldn’t know whether to kiss her feet or spitefully throw sand in her eyes. I’d probably do both, and end up with sand in my own eyes (and rightfully so may I add).

A lot of that reaction was that I was working on a last minute story, about a black gay Trekkie being kidnapped by an alien for some sexytimes. Basically, I read what they wanted more of and wrote that. It was fun. The story had a few moments of humor and horror in it. At the same time too, it felt flat compared to the opening of the other story, like I was having fun playing connect-the-dots with a laundry list while Logan was dipping her pen in her heart and really writing. It’s not like I don’t have those moments, it’s just this story wasn’t one of them (Love on the 500). Nor do I treat my characters callously, both alien and nerd have back stories, etc. Even in my little snippets, I try to flesh out my characters. It’s just, well, yeah…I felt like I was trying to get a lot done with my 6,000 words, and the plot took up more space than it probably should have. If it gets rejected, I’ll probably expand on it before sending it off elsewhere.

But, back to Geek Love, I supported it at the Cunning Linguist Level ($200) because it includes a class with Shanna Germain! It’s six 2 hr. classes, so, 12 hours of classes, plus another 12 hours she spends outside of class, at $200, works to be about $8 per hour of her time. Frankly, I consider that to be a flipping bargain. Add that to the fact that I literally have no formal creative writing training (unless high school counts), and altogether it seems like a very good idea.

I also may, or may not have, found a source of income doing some smut ghostwriting. I’ve been asked to write another piece, and am waiting to be paid for the first. Worse comes to worst, I end up with another free bit of 1,500 word smut for everyone to read (I won’t start the second without payment for the first).

What do skunks and nuns have in common?

Tags

nun, skunk, superfluity, surfeit

Going by their collective nouns, a group of them is too many. A group of skunks is a surfeit, and a group of nuns is a superfluity.

Surfeit carries with it the connotation of gorged nobles passed out after a feast. Superfluous feels a little more like a cup spilling over. Either way, we don’t associate skunks with food (maybe tomato juice if you grew up with one of those dogs you just let out of the house and they come home after having gotten into something) or nuns with overabundance, which makes it even more fun! At least, it does for me.

The Golden Coin (#11)

Tags

Six Sentence Sunday, SSS, Vampire

Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema [Public domain], via WikiPaintings

“We will not kill you,” Hewa said, giving the man to her husband. “Sit here.” She patted the bed beside her, her teeth showing in her smile.
I did, and she wrapped me in her arms. She breathed death into my face and stroked my hair as her husband finished the man off. My heart slowly calmed in her embrace.

---

This is an original story, chronicling how three of the characters of my upcoming novelette, The Vampire’s Gallery, met. What you missed can be found here. It’s part of Six Sentence Sunday. Click the link for more awesome stories!
Please note: This is set around 1 BC, and is light when it comes to historical accuracy. I mean, no one’s going to whip out some matches or a PSP, but there are probably details I’ll get wrong.

2013 Fantasy Pin-up Calendar: A Missed Opportunity

Tags

hairy bear men, lurpy nerds, sexy men

Patrick Rothfuss recently announced a fantasy pin-up calendar on his blog.

Now, I’m going to admit, I subscribe to /r/fantasy because I want to get back into reading fantasy, not because I read a lot of fantasy. In fact, I’ve not had the pleasure of reading Rothfuss or many others mentioned on there. I’m working on it, but tend to distracted by everything. The reality is I skip around genres.

I’m not here to talk about my tastes though, but rather Rothfuss, the power he has as an organizer, and sexiness.

As a society, we spent a lot of time talking about women, body image, and sexiness. We spend almost no time talking about men, body image, and sexiness.

Is it because men are immune to body image issues? Checking my gender stereotypes, it would seem the opposite sex is devoid of emotions entirely. I can honestly say, this does not hold true to my experiences with men, who feel pressure to conform to male body ideals just as women do. The biggest difference is, we don’t talk about it (and companies don’t make as much money off of men as they do women, so they advertise to them less).

What would happen if Rothfuss decided to put something together for the ladies, something featuring the types of dudes who are into fantasy? All I can think of is scrawny nerds and soft hairy bear men. I’m sure there are some meaty meat men and regular sized dudes who are into fantasy, but my brain goes to: lurpy dudes in tighty whities and Mack Truck men in Star Wars boxers and beards.

What would happen if a major author, with the power to make this type of shit happen said to the community at large, “Hey, all of you are sexy (no homo).” Hell, what if it was the authors themselves posing (as someone mused on the blog post)? What if they said, “This chubby dude’s sexy; this skinny guy is sexy; and this hairy old man, c’mon, he’s sexy too.” Cuz I gotta be honest, generally speaking, it’s what’s under the hood that gets my motor running. I’d gaze with lust at Peter Beagle. OMG, do you think he’d let me touch his beard?

I guess as a smut writer, I spend a lot of time thinking about sexiness, and it makes me sad that there’s some acknowledgement of what’s sexy needs to be expanded for women, but not so much for men. Our thoughts on male sexuality haven’t evolved much beyond a caricature of stick-yer-dick-inna-hole horniness. And while that certainly exists, and is all well and good, there are men who aren’t that horny.

Also, speaking of women: fantasy, after years of seeing big titted women in armor with strategically cut holes, I think you owe them a little eye candy. And I’ll be there, waiting, getting my panties wet, while you oil up for your shoot.

Also, I’d make similar comment on Rothfuss’ blog, but I can’t sign in, and it won’t email me a password for the user name “AntoinetteMSmut” and I’m not making an account to tell a dude I think he (or men like him) should be posing in their skivvies. I’m a married woman after all! No, actually, I hate having 90 million different accounts.