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He made her come until Vanessa pushed him away, her hands hanging limp off her wrists. She was exhausted, sated, after her men. Brandon drew her a warm path and helped her into it.
Mm…I bet it’s some nice smooth river rock, at least I hope it is and not like gravel. Also, about that first sentence, I don’t know about it. I’m not ready to make a judgement call yet, but the limp wrist hanging might have to go. I have a feeling it’s going to get rewritten six times before it’s cut. I’ve been trying “sated” instead of “satiated” lately as well, just to mix things up.
The second sentence is a bit odd, too. Just sayin’. And did he draw her a warm bath? I think that’s what you meant.
I love it when an odd sentence sneaks by because it’s cheek to cheek with a worse one. They’re like a dynamic duo of “I don’t know about this” writing.
In the first draft, he draws her a bath.
Good to know. š