No grammar check, I don’t think that’s what God did.

Tags

almost typo, typo

I’m running grammar check on a story, Vanessa’s Affair, and there’s a line from a passage where she is enjoying her husband’s company after violating her marriage vows. The line currently reads:

God, and Vanessa loved it.

It was suggested I remove the comma:

God and Vanessa loved it.

I’m pretty sure that would be incorrect. If anything, I would propose God would be indifferent. I mean, God has better things to do than hang out in the bedrooms of perverts.

What every woman needs after a long night of hot sex…

Tags

typo

He made her come until Vanessa pushed him away, her hands hanging limp off her wrists. She was exhausted, sated, after her men. Brandon drew her a warm path and helped her into it.

Mm…I bet it’s some nice smooth river rock, at least I hope it is and not like gravel. Also, about that first sentence, I don’t know about it. I’m not ready to make a judgement call yet, but the limp wrist hanging might have to go. I have a feeling it’s going to get rewritten six times before it’s cut. I’ve been trying “sated” instead of “satiated” lately as well, just to mix things up.