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Antoinette M–

~ The Chronicles of a Smut Monger

Antoinette M–

Tag Archives: hairy bear men

2013 Fantasy Pin-up Calendar: A Missed Opportunity

15 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Uncategorized

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Tags

hairy bear men, lurpy nerds, sexy men

Patrick Rothfuss recently announced a fantasy pin-up calendar on his blog.

Now, I’m going to admit, I subscribe to /r/fantasy because I want to get back into reading fantasy, not because I read a lot of fantasy. In fact, I’ve not had the pleasure of reading Rothfuss or many others mentioned on there. I’m working on it, but tend to distracted by everything. The reality is I skip around genres.

I’m not here to talk about my tastes though, but rather Rothfuss, the power he has as an organizer, and sexiness.

As a society, we spent a lot of time talking about women, body image, and sexiness. We spend almost no time talking about men, body image, and sexiness.

Is it because men are immune to body image issues? Checking my gender stereotypes, it would seem the opposite sex is devoid of emotions entirely. I can honestly say, this does not hold true to my experiences with men, who feel pressure to conform to male body ideals just as women do. The biggest difference is, we don’t talk about it (and companies don’t make as much money off of men as they do women, so they advertise to them less).

What would happen if Rothfuss decided to put something together for the ladies, something featuring the types of dudes who are into fantasy? All I can think of is scrawny nerds and soft hairy bear men. I’m sure there are some meaty meat men and regular sized dudes who are into fantasy, but my brain goes to: lurpy dudes in tighty whities and Mack Truck men in Star Wars boxers and beards.

What would happen if a major author, with the power to make this type of shit happen said to the community at large, “Hey, all of you are sexy (no homo).” Hell, what if it was the authors themselves posing (as someone mused on the blog post)? What if they said, “This chubby dude’s sexy; this skinny guy is sexy; and this hairy old man, c’mon, he’s sexy too.” Cuz I gotta be honest, generally speaking, it’s what’s under the hood that gets my motor running. I’d gaze with lust at Peter Beagle. OMG, do you think he’d let me touch his beard?

I guess as a smut writer, I spend a lot of time thinking about sexiness, and it makes me sad that there’s some acknowledgement of what’s sexy needs to be expanded for women, but not so much for men. Our thoughts on male sexuality haven’t evolved much beyond a caricature of stick-yer-dick-inna-hole horniness. And while that certainly exists, and is all well and good, there are men who aren’t that horny.

Also, speaking of women: fantasy, after years of seeing big titted women in armor with strategically cut holes, I think you owe them a little eye candy. And I’ll be there, waiting, getting my panties wet, while you oil up for your shoot.

Also, I’d make similar comment on Rothfuss’ blog, but I can’t sign in, and it won’t email me a password for the user name “AntoinetteMSmut” and I’m not making an account to tell a dude I think he (or men like him) should be posing in their skivvies. I’m a married woman after all! No, actually, I hate having 90 million different accounts.

Antoinette M–

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