OMFG Look Who’s on Twitter

Tags

fears, social media, twitter, Writing

It’s me!

I know, that’s terribly unexciting. It was a big step for me. In Shanna Germain’s class, she advises us to conquer that which we fear. It doesn’t matter how much (or how little) natural talent a writer has, those who deal with their fears will succeed, and those who don’t, fail. And that’s how I ended up on Twitter. I have general social media fears AND some specific to Twitter.

My fears include tweeting about the wrong thing. Examples: My husband bought a 1 lb. bag of carrots, and it only has five carrots in it! I found a brown gelatinous substance in the backyard while picking up dog crap! Something about Bravo’s Real Housewives–f’ing love me some Housewives.

More opportunities to say something stupid/engage in drama. You know that salty bastard you turn to when you need an opinion that resembles a lead pipe? Yeah, that’s me, only I’m a woman, which makes it a little disarming for some people when I do open my mouth. They’re just not expecting it. I really need to dampen that down on the internet, because there’s no tone. (Can you tell I’m kinda sleepy right now? As long as I don’t fall asleep on the keyboard, I think we’re good.) Something that you would laugh at me saying in person, or understand was blunt but good-natured, will come off totally differently stripped of my facial expression, body language, and vocal intonation.

As far as drama, we’ve all seen internet drama. Hell, I should have been writing last Saturday, but I was on Facebook, watching drama. It’s not like it makes me happy, but I can’t look away either. It’s like watching a celebrity implode. I will admit to wanting some popcorn, with that gross fake butter that gives you cancer, but I don’t care as long as it’s hot.

I’m also to an extent, thin-skinned. I deal with that by patting my feelings on my head and sending them on their way, and generally it works. If it doesn’t, well, a better analogy would be a bezoar which I manage to hack up a few weeks later (if that doesn’t work, I could just drink a shit ton of Coke apparently). Sometimes I listen to death metal, really loud. Not Metallica, Dew Scented.

Regardless of how I deal with my feelings, they’re always there, quick to surface and stifle reason. My own nonsense I can deal with, we’re good friends. It’s other people who throw me for a loop, and because of that, I can get squicked out from everything to a phone call to an email. You would think three star interviews would make my cry, but I don’t think it’s the actual rejection/meanness that bothers me (or in the case of the three star review I’m thinking of, her honesty), but my own anticipation of it, my own awkwardness that feels thick on my limbs.

That could be the core of my fear–that I just can’t fake social grace. Cringe-worthy moments are awful enough when they happen in real time, but social media is a record, preserving those moments for posterity.

Marketing Strategies

Tags

Erotica, Marketing, Self-publish, smut

When it comes to selling smut, there are a lot of different attitudes about how to do it, and like most things, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Some people go with volume, producing mid-high range pieces, others write even more, of middling quality. Some writers put out only a few pieces of the highest quality. Really, the only constant is that all of these people have a back list.

I’ve got a little bit of a backlist, four pieces to be exact. Aubrey Watt (a wonderful author who will certainly be put on my blog list when I get around to it) did an AMA on Reddit, where she said don’t bother checking sales until you have ten pieces up. With that in mind, I’m going to self-publish Vanessa’s Affair (after all, Ellora’s Cave isn’t going anywhere), rewrite the bits of Vampire’s Gallery that needs work and get it out the door, and finish up with reworking Cthulhu Loves Geordi. I might make him an anime fan instead of Star Trek, because I’m actually into anime. Had I been thinking, I would written it that way to start with.

My marketing strategy is to offer decent work for free, while giving people the option to support me with money. I’ve been exploring the marvelous fonts available out there, and found one company, Misprinted Type, that has amazing free fonts, and a suite of ones to purchase at reasonable prices ($15-$40). I love that model. I’ll use a bunch of free fonts, and then buy one as a thank you. Obsidian Dawn does something similar. I’ve purchased commercial licenses for a few of her brush packs (not the ones I ended up using, of course). Regardless, it was a way to thank her for her hard work (at least, I think it’s a her).

Probably the biggest flaw of my strategy is thinking people are like me. I mean, I don’t pirate music/books. I don’t get my panties in a knot about people who do—hell, I don’t even use DRM when I publish. Even without the threat of a million dollar lawsuit, I probably wouldn’t download music. When someone gives me something nice, for free, the psychological effect on me is I want to return the favor.

The second biggest flaw is that it requires me to produce a fair amount of smut for free. The Princess of Cleves was kind of a practice run. I’m happy she’s found people to read her. What I post here every other Thursday, and my smut-on-demand piece on Literotica are another thing entirely. While they’re a lifesaver when I’m editing, sometimes they can be distracting.

Then, there’s the blog itself. While I’ve come to enjoy blogging, the main point of this was to get my books out there, etc. I don’t know if it’s really working for me. I don’t think many people who come here click on a link for a book, let alone buy one. This isn’t an attempt to garner pity, just the statement of facts. It’s my hope by having the book covers on the side, people will look more often. We’ll see how that goes. If it was a matter of people checking out my books then not buying them, I’d just lower the price.

The other great adventure is my participation in SmutWriters (see badge). You should check it out! There’s information for all manner of writers there, with reviews of software, tips on making covers and getting reviews.

Out Now, Gutter Punk!

Tags

ass grabber, Erotica

Join Tod and Carla as their adventure continues in Gutter Punk, the second installment of the Ass Grabber series.

Redheaded Step-Child

Tags

blog hops, blogging, Erotica, Marketing, Self-publish, Writing

So, this is a post about sales, blogging, and how not to publish a story.

I see two blondes and a brunette, but no redheads.

Don’t publish it like a redheaded step-child, without even so much as an announcement on your blog. I mean, I’d like to welcome you all to purchase A Tale of Two Clitties, my latest smut! And yes, Dickens is rolling in his grave, and no, there’s nothing to be done about it, all his works are public domain.

Seriously though, the woman listed as its editor wasn’t aware it was out in the public, and a few people have bought it.

To boost sales, I’m going to try a Virginia, and burn out all my free days on Amazon. I’m going to take advantage sites listing books for free, and hope all goes well. Gutter Punk is a hop and a skip away from being ready to rock and roll, so I’ll finish off with that and get it out the door. Ditto Vanessa’s Affair (which will actually be sent off to a publisher).

After that, Vampire’s Gallery needs dealt with. I suspect most of my writing efforts will be going to produce little snippets of text for here and Literotica. I just can’t pursue a complex story and edit.

I’m on the fence about the utility of Blog Hops (I am the last person on the list for the Alpha-Male Hop), but at the same time too, not a lot of effort is required. I can pitch $5 in the pot, give away a book, and it’s not cost me much. Speaking of blog hops, I wish I wrote horror so I could put this Coffin Hop badge up. I might do it anyways. The Superjail! smut I wrote is kind of horrific.

One way I’ve increase blog traffic (and general levels of knowledge and amusement) is spending more times on other blogs. If I’m lucky, people come here and share their miscellaneous head leavings. The comments on my blog about picking up dog crap are pretty funny/informative.

While my dreams of going on a Lolita shopping spree have not materialized, altogether it could be worse.

Orphan thought: The subversiveness of the printed word

Tags

censorship, Editing, the art of cruelty

I wrote a piece about censorship for Smutwriters, and I had to cut out this little thought because it didn’t fit. I loved it though, so I put it here instead:

In discussing the difference between visual mediums and the printed text, Maggie Nelson taps into the subversive nature of the printed word, “…An image created with words requires the aid of one’s own mind in its construction…it is precisely this sense of collusion between reader and text that can make the reading experience so guilt-inducing, so uncomfortable, so deeply wicked.” (The Art of Cruelty: A Reckoning). When we’re enjoying our smut, we’re actively picturing it, just like people actively pictured Emma Bovary’s carriage ride and William Burroughs centipedes copulating with who knows what.

I have lots of files named orphan this or that. It eases the pain of cutting out a hunk of text you love, because you lie to yourself and say, “I’m not deleting this, I’m just putting it over here until I find a home for it.” Of course, this home never materializes, and your orphan files end up being another thing you should probably delete, much like the 40 different cover versions I have for Love on the 500.

Cover Design: Some Basics

Tags

cover design, GIMP

So, here are a few things I’ve figured out that are probably applicable to whatever you’re doing. Two things which bear repeating (like the mantra that to be a writer, one must read and write) are:

1) The title must be readable.

2) The thumbnail must look nice.

Ultimately, while you’re trying to entice a reader to pick up your book, you’re also trying to convey useful information, hence you want your title to be easily readable. If you’re having the problem where you’re putting a title over a busy background, you can take the path tool, draw a box around the text (hit ctrl to close the box), copy the path to the selection, and using a new transparent layer, dump a color into the box with the bucket tool. If you want the background to show through, you can make that layer transparent (in the layers dock, right near the top you’ll find a slider for that). Please note: if you anchor down the layer, you will lose the transparency. You need to merge the layers instead.

Here’s some more general advice.

Do it again

It’s fine to use your first draft of a cover if you just want to get the damn thing out the door (I understand that), but you’ll probably want to design at least a couple of different looks. And when you’re first learning how to deal with hair, masks, etc. it’s okay to start from scratch if you get frustrated. At this point, you probably need the practice.

When I find my books are doing nothing, like absolutely nothing, I go a redesign my covers. I love the garden look I have for Love on the 500, but it’s not moving books so it has to go. I’m getting ready to publish Gutter Punk soon, the second book, and I’ll probably try and redesign Love on the 500 to work with that cover. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t bummed out though, because I worked hard on that cover.

Don’t be afraid

Ctrl+z as many times as you need. Look up five different tutorials until you get it. I’ve found that fooling around with stuff, I’ve figured out a lot. Using the curves on the path tool can be a little clunky at first, but you’ll get the hang of it. Take a break too if you need it, because it can be frustrating.

The eyedropper is a great tool

In order to keep a cohesive feel, I often use the eyedropper tool. Like, for bokeh dots, I’ll use the highlight color of the woman’s hair. For the garden cover of Love in the 500, I used the same hue of blue and red throughout, and if you write down that number (it will be among the first sliders available) you can make it lighter and darker as needed. Using the same colors will help tie the whole image together. For my Tale of Two Clitties cover, I colorized the background of the bottom image to match the blue from the top image. With the right hue, I just eyeballed the other attributes (saturation and vibrancy).

Creating the feeling of dimension

Using darker hues, smaller sizes, and sliding around the layers so things overlap can create the illusion of dimension.

You can do so much with the copy feature

You can copy things into new layers, new images, as brushes, whatever you want! I’ve had a lot of fun with this feature. I wanted to create a kind of shadow effect with the title of this one story, so I made a brush out of the title, set the transparency to about 50% so I could get this kind of after image effect. I don’t know if it worked that well, but it was fun.

If GIMP gets wonky…

Maybe uninstall some of those brushes. It could just be the version I have (I’m not sure when it was updated) but if I install all of Obsidian Dawn’s brushes, it gets super freaking clunky.

You can do a lot with masks

If you’re working on hair or something, remember coloring something black on the mask will make it transparent, and coloring it white will make it opaque. I use masks for lots of things. When I make a box for text, I like to have texture on it. With a mask, I can make sure I’m just coloring on the box and not all around it. For text, if you want to have a kind of beat up look, you can make it look distressed by adding a quick mask and putting a texture on it.

Some of the things I’m talking about are at an intermediate level as opposed to basic. Understanding them will allow you to do a lot more with your covers. There is an element of trial and error to this. I’m not the best at making covers, but it is something I enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it, you’re probably better off hiring a cover artist (advice for that here). If you don’t have the money, make a basic cover, because it’s better than nothing.

What every woman needs after a long night of hot sex…

Tags

typo

He made her come until Vanessa pushed him away, her hands hanging limp off her wrists. She was exhausted, sated, after her men. Brandon drew her a warm path and helped her into it.

Mm…I bet it’s some nice smooth river rock, at least I hope it is and not like gravel. Also, about that first sentence, I don’t know about it. I’m not ready to make a judgement call yet, but the limp wrist hanging might have to go. I have a feeling it’s going to get rewritten six times before it’s cut. I’ve been trying “sated” instead of “satiated” lately as well, just to mix things up.

Spam Reddit ??? Profit

Tags

Marketing, reddit

The missing bit of that equation is ≠. Don’t get me wrong, I love Reddit, I’m a moderator of r/smutwriters(it’s a private subreddit so you’ll have to contact the mods to get added) started by Virginia Flowers. It’s a difficult group to market to. Make friends, get beta-reads, give beta-reads, yes, but making money off it, no.

Don’t get me wrong, some people do it. The best way to go about it is to provide some service for the community while promoting yourself. I tried it by showing a redline copy I’d gotten from an editor there, and adding a little, “Hey by the way, this is my story,” and I got little to no love. Part of that was probably timing (you want to post your shit before the US goes to work; in fact, since quitting my job, I spend a lot less time on Reddit). Make sure whatever community you’re posting in isn’t in a mood. Yeah, that’s right, you can think of Reddit like a person, and sometimes Reddit gets cranky. Hang out in a community long enough, you’ll see it shift and fragment, little groups breaking off to coalesce or be reabsorbed into the greater community.

Still want to give it a shot?

I think Aubrey Watt had one of the more successful posts there. What she provided was an excellent resource for the community with her GIMP tutorials. She did such a good job in fact, she’s earned several mentions here in my conversations about cover design, though at this point I’ve advanced beyond what she covers. They’re still a great starting point though. She’s doing well too, although if you look at her bullet list, I suspect #2 has a lot to do with it. I despaired until I read that. The reality is, if I tried to write that much, I’d be turning out smut of low to mid-range quality. I suspect Aubrey Watt’s writing is more in the mid to high range, averaging somewhere in the middle.

Of course, your Reddit marketing campaign may not be hampered by the type of social awkwardness that clings to most only children (both my siblings are 10+ years older than me, and I grew up in the middle of nowhere). You may be able to navigate a forum as socially complex a 17th century French court/contemporary high school cafeteria. My advice is your energy is better spent making friends on Reddit instead of making money.

Ass Grabber/Love on the 500: Cover Design

Tags

cover design, Erotica, GIMP, gimp brushes, romance

What you are about to see are four very different covers. It’s going to take a minute, so let’s get started!

Here’s my first cover for Ass Grabber, thrown together with Aubrey Watts tutorial close by. I got the image from Romance Novel Covers for $15. It’s okay. It does have ass grabbing.

And we have female hands on a male ass!

This next one is a little more ambitious, and occurred after a rebranding. I wanted to play up the romantic side of the book. I scoured the web for public domain images of buses, and I finally stumbled upon this lovely image of the interior of a hydrogen powered bus in London (thanks Spsmiler). I got the image for $12.50 at colourbox. It’s more ambitious and works well with the title shift (Love on the 500) but it’s not amazing.

As you can see, my GIMP skills are still developing.

So, one more before I get to to the good one. Using the same image from colourbox, and a couple of brushes from Obsidian Dawn (okay, all 3 of the glitter brushes), and the same colors from the bus, I put this together. It’s less tacked together. I started with a transparency in a darker blue, covered it in glitter smoke, worked up another 2 lighter shades, then layered light red glitter II over that. I added the title and author name, and finished off with some dark red glitter swirls. While I’m not in love with this here, it’s definitely something I’ll try again. I’d like to note, I love that I can download all these brushes, and pay as needed, although at $3 each, I might as well buy them.

I’m not in love with it.

So, Obsidian Dawn’s brushes met those lovely bus colors, and gave birth to the image I’ll end up using. I needs works, I won’t argue that, but here I feel like I’m “onto something”. Also, it’s only $3 (foliage swirls brushes). Although, should probably look at the rest, for research, ya know (did research, see post from 2 AM last night).

The background needs work, among other things, but this is the basic idea.

Blog Hop: Results of last, Preparation for current

Tags

blog hop, Marketing, romancing the hop

 

So, I think during the duration of The Hero’s Blog Hop, I sold -1 copy of The Altar of Deimos. What could have happened?

1) Not leading with my best foot (The Altar of Deimos, while not a bad story, is short, and my ultimate intention is for it to be free).
2) Not participating (I was getting married, so I had a good excuse).
3) Description needs sprucing up.
4) Cover art needs tweaking.

Well, we’re going to fix all of these for Love on the 500’s spin with Romancing the Hop. I’m working on the description/cover, I think it’s a great story and people seem to like it, and I’m going to try and hit up 5 sites a day.

Not that results were all bad. While the hop may have been a commercial flop, it definitely drew people to my blog, lots of people commented, and I ended up with a few new followers. The woman who runs these blog hops is just lovely, great about communication (like she will email you back within 24 hours if not seconds, normally seconds), it’s all easy peasy.

I’ve also discovered that people who include everyone’s links right in their blog are a blessing, but my current post is really long, and if I add a list of 200 names, I’m going to feel like I owe people another $5 for scrolling through everything (offering a $10 Amazon gift card again). At the very least I’ll give it a shot, but at this point I’m on the fence, again, due to the sheer volume of names.

Also, I’m not commenting this time. I can’t flipping count, and if I comment I have to count how many people commented before I determine my random number. I will thank people after (if WordPress doesn’t yell at me for typing “thank you” too many times).

Last time I wrote a bit of orignal backstory to go with the book, and I think I’ll try that again, unless it ends up being dreadful in which case nertz.

This is the basic idea. I’ll probably fool around with the text art some more.