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Antoinette M–

~ The Chronicles of a Smut Monger

Antoinette M–

Tag Archives: amazon gift card

Valentine’s Day Gift Hop: An Ode to Thorns

09 Sunday Feb 2014

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Books

≈ 40 Comments

Tags

amazon gift card, and evermore rose, blog hop, romantica, roses, Valentine's Day Gift Hop

ValentinesDayGiftHopWelcome to my stop on the Valentine’s Day Gift Hop! Keep reading for instructions on how to win a $5 Amazon gift card and the other grand prizes.

Valentine’s Day is fast upon us. A time for red roses wrapped in tissue paper and sticky chocolates. For those of you who need a break from Cupid’s saccharine smile, I provide this bit of bitter as a counter note to the sweet, and give the rose back its thorns when I consider some less savory facts about this famous flower.

Heliogabalus smothered his guests in them

In an attempt to one up the famous sensualist and politician Cleopatra, Heliogabalus showered his guests in roses. Only, there was such a profusion of flowers, his guests suffocated under the heady blooms. Please note: this little factoid comes to us from the ancient equivalent of the National Enquirer.

The Cherokee rose is anything but

It’s from China. Yup, that’s right, you heard me. From China. Not native at all. Just like those goddamn stinkbugs.

Red roses are for love

Yellow roses are for infidelity. What? A Japan rose is for someone who’s just a pretty face. Okay… A dried white rose for “death is preferable to loss of innocence.” And thank you, Lucy Hooper. Not sure when I would need that one.

Dr. Livingston presumes…

To complain to London’s Horticultural Society about William Kerr’s pittance of a salary.

Who’s William Kerr? Only a young Scottish man who sent 238 new species of plants (including his namesake, the Kerria japonica) back from China during his eight and half years there. Shipping plants overseas in 1803 was quite difficult. It took Kerr five months to travel from England to China, and the plants that he brought with him mostly perished. Three at least made it to China, though what happened afterwards can only be guessed (cough cough dead cough).

So, of the 238,000 plants young Kerr packed up and shipped back to England—I’m going off of Livingstone’s math here—238 made it, including the white Banksian rose, a flower still much admired and grown today.

TheLoveOfVioletta-AntoinetteM-1333x2000So, what’s sad about this story? I’ll quote Jennifer Potter’s The Rose here: “So Kerr was drinking and perhaps worse, ground down by poverty and loneliness.” At this time in history, China restricted the movement of European traders in their country, isolating them, and according to Livingstone, Kerr didn’t even have enough money to buy new clothes and spent much of his time navigating congested streets instead of working. Eventually, his employers decided to make him superintendent at the King’s new botanical gardens in Sri Lanka. It sounds lovely, except he died shortly after arriving. While Potter indicates a fever, Wikipedia suggests opium.

Now you need some sugar, I know. In honor of all the flowers getting ready for their big day, I’ve dropped the price of The Love of Violetta from $2.99 to $0.99.

Violetta learns the bitter truth that, like the roses in the garden, young love fades. What sweetness can she find treading the halls where her love once walked? Who will kiss her, now that he has refused?

Available at Amazon and Smashwords. You can read the first part here for free.

To enter to win the Grand Prizes:

BloghopPrizes

And the $5 Amazon gift card, comment  below with your email address and the bouquet you’d love to receive for Valentine’s Day (mainly your email address though). After you’re done, don’t forget to comment on other blogs for more chances to win the Grand Prize! Every comment equals an additional entry.

Click here to get back to the list of participating blogs!

As far as what bouquet I’d want, it would be full of messy old garden roses, cabbage roses and dog roses and moss roses. I’d also like to thank Jennifer Potter for her lovely book, The Rose, which has helped me to natter at family members about an even wider variety of plants.

Getting Wet and Wild in the Library

19 Sunday May 2013

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Uncategorized

≈ 55 Comments

Tags

amazon gift card, blog hop, erotica blog hop, victoria's secret gift card, wet and wild blog hop

wildhopThanks for stopping by for the Wet and Wild Blog Hop!

Enter your email address below to enter a $10 gift card from Amazon and one of the Grand Prizes, a $100 gift card from Victoria’s Secret or a digital gift basket of hot smut! Don’t forget to visit other blogs for more chances to win.

When I was kid, summer meant one thing to me: more time to read. We didn’t have a big library in my town, but I found enough to keep me busy. One day, when I was about thirteen or so, I decided I’d read some Literature. I had vague notions about Hemingway, so I went and picked up a book by him.

I just happened to grab The Garden of Eden. I didn’t know it at the time, but this was a very special moment in a young girl’s life. It was my first dirty book.

“He held her tight around her breasts and he opened and closed his fingers feeling her and the hard erect freshness between his finger.” Pg. 17

“Then their lips were together and he felt her body against his and her breasts against his chest and her lips tight against his and then open, her head moving from side to side and her breathing and the feel of his belt buckle against his belly and in his hands.” Pg. 151

I’d never read anything like it. Both I and my hormones were mesmerized by those words. I read it again recently, and discovered my memory had magnified the amount of those passages, but not their ability to make me squirm, thighs pressed together tight, as I read.

The things Catherine did to David (as a teenager I’d reread those bits, slack-jawed with awe, wondering if it meant what I really thought it did: butt stuff), and then Catherine and Marita, and David and Marita. No wonder I grew up to write perverted novels. This was hot stuff, hiding out in literature!

I went on to read Norman Mailer (who did not disappoint), Jane Auel (no disappointment there either), Wally Lamb. All books relatives would nod at me for reading then blink once they realized there was SEX in them.

Sometime soon after that, I took up watching movies all night on IFC and William Burroughs. I was always very happy knowing, if my parents knew what I was watching or reading, they’d be horrified.

So, readers, what was your first dirty novel? Does it still hold a special place in your heart? Comment below, with your email address, for chance to win a $10 Amazon gift card and the grand prizes. Don’t forget to check out other participating blogs! Also, I’m giving out complimentary copies of my novel, The Vampires Gallery. Leave your preferred format below (.mobi, .epub, or PDF) and I’ll send it over.

One last thing: to avoid spam, it’s generally recommended to enter your email as such: antoinette.emdash (at) gmail (dot) com, or something similar. After all, you want an announcement that you won a Victoria Secret’s Gift Card in your inbox, not an ad for Viagra!

WetAndWildGrandPrizes

Antoinette M–

SmutWriters, A Resource for Writers and Readers

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