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On Easter, I didn’t call my sister. Not because I don’t like my sister, but because I loathe phones. I will think of any excuse to not call people. In my mind, she spent all day at church or visiting her friend for dinner. Part of it is the fact that I’m going deaf, and with the lousy cell connection we get at our house, phone conversations can be a little embarrassing. I’m either going, “What? What?” or I’m having a hard time following along with what’s said. I blame it on the rock and roll concerts and my love of eating ibuprofen (om nom nom!).

Other things I should be ashamed of?

Ogling Russian conscripts. Want another smile? Here you go! Oddly enough, the title of this picture does not translate to, “And this one’s for the ladies!” (Here’s the link to his Instagram profile. I highly recommend killing some time with it and Google Translate.)

And that the last thing I’m ashamed of? (At least for right now, I’ll probably add “giving myself a stomach ache from eating brownies” to the list later.)

I spent way too much time on April Fools’ Day playing with hats on Reddit.

Anything you should be ashamed of? Feel free to share.