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The second installment of my search engine inspired smut, the gay version of The Vampire Rubbed My Cock (the straight version is on Literotica, getting read like a hussy). In another two weeks, there will be more search end inspired smut. I’m thinking either “i want to lick that pussy he rub force vampire” or “superjail uncensored episodes”. All right, I’m 90% sure it’ll be smut featuring the Warden and Alice.

The vampire rubbed my cock. I felt bad for him. No one to look after him, no one to tell him what a slayer looked liked and to not go after his dick. Even in the dim light of the alley, I could see a human need in his eyes.

I would not enjoy this kill. God, he had to be eighteen when he was turned, and that wasn’t long ago.

He kissed me. I should have a stake in his heart, and instead I was letting him kiss me. Vampire or not, he had to be half my age. His tongue touched my lips, and I opened my mouth to him. I hadn’t gotten drunk in ten years, too risky, but my head was spinning like I was on a bender.

I grabbed his tight little ass and pulled him closer. He could snap me in half, but his build was so slight I could pretend I could crush him. The way he shivered, he was pretending too.

His teeth snicked out and I clenched the stake behind my back.

He pulled away. “Oh God, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been sleeping all day. I don’t normally even go to clubs like this. I’ve just been so…” He didn’t say hungry, he thought that emptiness inside him was just garden variety horniness.

Fuck, he didn’t even know he’d been turned. I was forty-five years old with millions squirrelled away in foreign banks. I didn’t need to be out getting high on adrenaline. I certainly didn’t need to be slaying vampires that were victims themselves.

They were the worst, creatures who had done no harm but had to be euthanized because one day they would. Their pleas echoed again in my head, the look of betrayal in many of their eyes, their claims that they didn’t kill humans, that my masters were wrong.

“I can’t do this,” I said, turning away from him.

He clutched my hand. “Please, please just touch me.”

“C’mon, I’ll buy you a drink.”

To my surprise, he nodded. “Thanks, I could use one.”

If he was still able to eat and drink, he must be under a month old, a baby. The bartender nodded at me and threw two whiskeys in front of us.

The boy smiled. God, what a sweet fucking smile. Like a daisy in the middle of Mount Rumpke, so pretty you couldn’t smell the waste. I tossed back my drink. He took a sip and made a face.

“I got what you need,” I said. I took his cold hand, and for once in my life, I wasn’t afraid. If I wasn’t afraid, I was going to get killed.

He stalled behind me, shaking his head. “No, I’m not going home with you.”

I took a breath and relaxed. That lithe body of his was getting ready to run away faster than he knew it could move. If I spooked him now, he’d be dead in a month. I stepped into him and leaned down to his ear. “I know what’s happening to you. You went to a bar, met a cute boy, you made out. You must have drank more than you thought, because you blacked-out. Your neck hurt like a son of a bitch the next day, and that bastard left you with the worse hickey of your life.”

“It was a party,” he whispered.

“Please come with me. It’s not safe out here for you.” I kissed his ear. “You skin is so cold.”

He wrapped his arms around me. “I know. Okay.”

Everyone stared as we left. Vampires preyed on pariahs: the homeless, prostitutes, drug addicts, and for a very long time, homosexuals. As societies’ attitude started to shift, so did the vampires’ tastes. Only old ones hunted these bars anymore. The phrase “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” was doubly true for vampires. I guess it was true for me too, because I was here killing them ten years after I should have retired.

“Holy shit,” the kid said when I stopped in front of my car.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“I’ve never ridden in a Ferrari.”

I unlocked the doors, shaking my head. “I’m Brutus,” I said, sliding into my seat.

He snorted.

“Yeah, I know.” I scanned the street. I always knew it would happen some night, my turn to slip away into another life. I’d never pictured a vampire at my side, although it did happen from time to time, with suitably tragic endings. “What’s your name?”

“John. How’d you know about what happened to me?”

I sighed. “It’s my job to know. I kill vampires.”

Somehow, John managed to flush paler.

“You were going to kill me.”

“Yeah, but I thought I’d retire instead. Unfortunately, leaving you out there would be the same as staking you, and now you’re in the car.”

“What’re you going to do with me?”

I wished I could take my eyes off the road and turn to him, soothe him. “I’m going to teach you what your maker should have taught you, like not to go into dark alleys with vampire slayers. And I’ll feed you.”

“Why the sudden change of heart?”

“I’m tired of slaughtering the innocent with the guilty.”

An unsettled silence clung in the car. By the time the garage door was creaking open, John was bursting with questions. The first one surprised me.

“Are you really gay, or do you just pretend to be to hunt vampires?”

I gave him a smirk, then pressed my mouth to his. When he responded, I sucked his bottom lip between teeth and nipped him.

“Does that answer your question?”

“I’m not convinced,” he said, his voice low and husky, his eyes dark.

I gripped his hair and smashed his face to mine, my tongue licking his teeth. John threw his arms around my neck, crawling onto my lap.

“Hey, let’s wait until we get inside,” I said.

He gave me a sheepish smile, then wiggled his hip against my erection as I pulled into the garage.

“We’re leaving in the morning,” I told him, opening my door so he could slide out. “So don’t get too comfortable.”

“Can I go out in the day?”

“Shit, no. There’s no way I can get something organized before dawn. I guess we’ll leave the next day.”

I locked the garage down before opening the door to the house. Funny taking precautions against vampires when I had brought one home.

“Am I allergic to garlic and holy water?”

I snorted. “No. In fact, churches are a favorite hiding place for vampires because of myths about them and Christianity.”

He followed me into the kitchen. “Where did vampires come from?”

“That I don’t know.” I poured myself a measure of whiskey and got out a wine glass. With a paring knife, I cut a horizontal slash in my wrist and bled into the glass. Letting a new vampire feed directly from me was not a good idea. “Here.”

John’s nose wrinkled even as his fangs slipped in. While he was distracted I nicked his hand. “Hey, ow. What was that for?”

“Vampire’s blood has the power to heal.” I held up my bleeding wrist to him as I swiped the blade across it. “You can lick, but you can’t bite.”

I suspect it was my flesh that was more appealing to him, looking at the erection he had. He lapped the blood from my wrist, then drank down his glass.

“Thanks. I feel a lot better. Will I have to eat a lot?”

“No. That should hold you over for a few days.”

“So, you could feed me?”

“Yes. It’s not unusual for a vampire to keep a human to feed from.”

“Can I ask you something personal Brutus?”


“Why do you hunt vampires?”

I tried to shake away the image of her dark hair in a pool of blood. I didn’t understand what I was looking at, it was a shiny pink and red mess. A big man with a red stake in his hand found me crouched by the hair, stroking it, covering it with fat child tears. He picked me up, grabbed a teddy bear that wasn’t stained in gore, and carried me away.

“That’s a story for another day. Let’s go to bed.”

John fidgeted in his seat.

“You don’t have to share my bed, or if you do, we can just sleep,” I said, touching his hand.

“No, I’m just nervous. Can we just fool around?”

I kissed his cheek. “That sounds heavenly.”

I didn’t bother turning on the lights; we could both see well enough in the dark. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and John stopped me.

“Let me,” he said, stepping close to me, his cool fingers trailing over my waist.  “Are vampires very strong?”

I chuckled, lifting my arms over my head. “You could beat my ass black and blue.”

He took my belt buckle and walked me backwards to the bed. “I’d rather hold you down and have my way with you,” he whispered. His cold hands touched mine. Like little ice cubes, his fingertips crept up to encircle my wrists.

My heart juddered in my chest. Being overpowered by a horny vampire, the thought I jacked to when I was drunk enough to not be ashamed. Fear jolted my senses, bringing the world into focus. The scent of blood on his breath, his hard erection against my stomach, the tension of the bed pressing into my knees, begging me to fall.

John kissed me, his mouth bright with the taste of pennies. “You’ve jerked off to this, haven’t you?”


“What happens next?” He lips brushed against mine as he spoke.

“You fuck my mouth.”

He licked my lips. With his new found strength, he pressed me to the bed. I resisted him a little, letting him feel how powerful his body was. “Is this okay?”

“Yes.” I bowed my head to nuzzle his chest.

He pushed me onto my back and the bed thumped against the wall. “Sorry. Guess I don’t know my own strength.”

I took his hand and guided them over the scars on my body—the puncture wound that almost pierced my lung, the slash that left my glistening viscera exposed and my GI tract eternally altered, the multiple stab wounds from an attempted exsanguination.

“Fuck,” John whispered with a bit of little kid awe. His hands were on my arms, squeezing my muscles, caressing the hard flat planes of my chest. My balls tightened as my blood rushed to my dick. “Fuck,” he said again, remembering the game we played, and who was on top.

He crushed his mouth to mine, his tongue forcing my lips open. I touched his face as my panicked heart screamed at me to get away. He pressed my thighs apart with his knees and rubbed his hard erection against mine.

I moaned into his lips and nicked my tongue on his tooth.

“You’re just a big scary vampire hunter who’s thinking with his dick instead of his head huh?” John said in a sing-song voice. He took my wrists and held them over my head. My heart stopped.

Fuck, if this is how it ends, it wasn’t a bad way to go. Besides, whoever John really was, he was good, he deserved this kill. I made myself open my eyes and look at him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” John let me go and scooted away.

“You’re not an assassin hired to kill me?” My voice was shaking.

“What? No, I was just trying to get into it.” He gave me a sheepish smile and touched my hand. “Christ Brutus, you’re scary. You know, I always wanted a scary boyfriend.”

I laughed. “I guess I always wanted one too.”

He jumped back on top of me and sucked my neck. His hands found mine again, and he held me beneath him, grinding his cock against mine. My hips bucked up at each thrust. The cold of his skin seeped through his shirt and my nipples hardened to points.

I whimpered as he pulled away, but fell silent when he took off his shirt revealing his flawless skin. The sound of his belt being unbuckled made my dick so hard it hurt.

He climbed over me, his thick white dick getting bigger and bigger as he came to crouch above my face.

“Suck it,” he said, grabbing my hair and pulling my mouth over him.

Moaning, I clutched his hips and guided him deep into my throat.

It was all the encouragement he needed. He slammed into my mouth while I choked and slobbered on his marble cock. I reached down to touch myself and with a growl John slapped my hand away. His other hand tightened in my hair, the pain making my eyes water.

John’s dick surged in my mouth and I drank down his salty cum.

Panting, he flopped down next to me. “Give me a minute and I’ll repay the favor.”

I kissed his sweaty brow before I got up and tugged at my curtains, making sure no light would burn my lover in his sleep. Luckily for him, I was no fan of the sun myself.

“Can I have some water?” he asked.

I got him a glass from the kitchen and myself another slug of whiskey. “You know, at some point, this stuff’ll start making you sick.”


“Anything, water, whiskey, you’re a vampire, your kind lives off of blood.”

“Oh.” He stared at his glass. “So, I shouldn’t drink this?”

“No, enjoy it while you can. Just know, soon you won’t be able to keep it down.”

He guzzled his glass then got another one from the bathroom. “You know, I love water, my friends always thought I was weird, but I dunno, I just always really liked water.”

He caught the shit eating grin on my face.

“What? Why’re you staring at me like that?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I’m just glad I didn’t make the biggest fucking mistake of my life tonight.”

“You’re supposed to say that after I give you one of my world famous lazy blow jobs.”

My dick, which had resigned itself to sleeping alone and was just getting settled, sat up at that. “World famous lazy blow job? I won’t knock it until I try it.”

John made me sit against the headboard. Laying his head on my stomach, he played with my dick and holy shit he did not lie. He spent a lot of time seeing if my dick fit between his teeth and cheek (it didn’t, not even if he shook it), if the top tasted different than the bottom, if his lips should go over his teeth or if they should be allowed to scrape me gently. All the while he played with my balls, pressed his hand against my taint. When I finally came it was a surprise. All the build up from his gentle stimulation had my hips bucking into his mouth and my balls plastered against his body.

“Jesus Christ John, I think you took ten years off my life.”

His smile was pure pride.

“Is it okay if I just pass out?” I asked.

“I’d be insulted if you didn’t,” he replied, giving me a wet sloppy kiss. “You forgot something though.”

I snorted. So he needs flatterly like he needs blood. I grabbed him, pulling his body against mine. “Is it telling you that going out tonight was the best decision I ever made?”

He squeezed my arms around him and fell asleep holding my hand. It took me a bit longer to drift off. By habit, I listened to my house make its settling down noises before I slept.