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Antoinette M–

~ The Chronicles of a Smut Monger

Antoinette M–

Monthly Archives: October 2012

A new way to edit

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Writing (Amateur)

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Editing, pro writing aid, self-editing, Self-publish

After reading the excellent article from Lindsey Flinch Bedder on self-editing (to which I contributed a lot of hot air), I decided to try some of her suggestions. I’m still working on Vanessa’s Affair. Grammar Check cleared up a few issues like “and I” instead of “and me”. Sticking it into The Writer’s Diet yielded nothing but lean results. It was time for something new, so I stuck it into Pro Writing Aid.

I discovered a plethora of problems. Luckily for me, there’s a handy summary of them. Now, this is a 10k text, so it takes a moment for the software to crank through it. It’s nice that there’s no word limit on it. I started at the beginning of the list, Overused Words. I stayed at that point for a while. Dear god, I never thought I was so dull, but it would seem I repeated myself endlessly.

That finished, I went on tackle other concerns:

  • Cliches and Redundancies (cleaned up a few good things)
  • Sentence Length (I’ve been keeping an eye on that, and it seems with editing I’m also breaking up some of my longer sentences).
  • Diction Report (catches dangling participles, which I only fret about when I’m trying to sound archaic)
  • Vague and Abstract Words (helps track down words like really and some)
  • Sticky Sentences (probably my favorite feature, it highlights the stones we trip our readers with, those sentences that read like a box of rock)
  • Consistency (looks like it would yell at if you if had a penchant for the British grey, like me, but it doesn’t know what an em dash is)

Left out of this list are the Complex Words Report and Alliteration Report (I have happy little green check marks, not angry red Xs, for those). On the side, there’s also a host of other little scuppers one can click on. I like both the Repeated Words and Phrases and also Phrases Summary. On my list was “moving in and out of her”, which I used twice. A startling revelation, I know.

Well, I leave you all to head off a play with this software some more. I’ll let you know how the new draft comes out. I’d mentioned previously sending out something for the Geek Love Anthology, and I finally got my rejection notice. I’m not really bummed. They received 300 stories, and accepted 30. I’m wondering what to do with it now though, as it’s a decidedly odd tale, titled Cthulhu Loves Geordi, about gay tentacle love.

The Golden Coin (#15)

14 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Six Sentence Sunday

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Six Sentence Sunday, Vampire

18+

Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema [Public domain], via WikiPaintings

 

Hewa pushed against my hips, coaxing me to thrust further into her husband’s mouth. A few more nudges and I was fucking his face, my hands knotted in his hair. Her nipples were hard points on my back.

Opening my eyes, I watched his full lips moving over me. Hewa massaged my asshole, and that was all I could take. I grunted and spent my seed in his mouth.


This is an original story, chronicling how three of the characters of my upcoming novelette, The Vampire’s Gallery, met. What you missed can be found here. It’s part of Six Sentence Sunday. Click the link for more awesome stories!
Please note: This is set around 1 BC, and is light when it comes to historical accuracy. I mean, no one’s going to whip out some matches or a PSP, but there are probably details I’ll get wrong.

No grammar check, I don’t think that’s what God did.

12 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Uncategorized

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

almost typo, typo

I’m running grammar check on a story, Vanessa’s Affair, and there’s a line from a passage where she is enjoying her husband’s company after violating her marriage vows. The line currently reads:

God, and Vanessa loved it.

It was suggested I remove the comma:

God and Vanessa loved it.

I’m pretty sure that would be incorrect. If anything, I would propose God would be indifferent. I mean, God has better things to do than hang out in the bedrooms of perverts.

The Seduction of Mademoiselle de la Grise

11 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

abbe de choisy, Free erotica, Free smut, transvestite

Boucher [Public Domain] via WikiPaintings

 18+, Nonconsensual/dubious consent. All characters depicted over 18.


“How provincial…”

A phrase lipped with a sneer that described my whole life, until she walked down the aisle at Mass. From the corner of my eyes, a flash of silver and yellow ribbons filled the dull church. The Comtesse des Barres—her very name sends shivers down my spine. I mouthed the “Amens” like dust and knelt and rose through the ceremony like a dumb beast. All I wanted to do was drink the new Parisian beauty with my eyes and I stared at her back as she spoke with the General’s wife.

I searched everywhere for information about the woman, pestering the servants, bothering my mother, until I learned those three magical words, Comtesse des Barres. After that, it was a matter of waiting for an invitation. My mother, the Marquise de le Grise, and I, were always invited to the General’s.

I put on my best dress, expecting her there. I was not disappointed. Her tall lithe form commanded the room, diamonds glittering in her hair and patches prancing about her face.

My heart thrilled at having her close, at being able to gaze upon her. When she approached me, all I was able to do was put on a pleasant expression.

“Mademoiselle de la Grise, I hope you do not find me forward, but too much of your bosom shows. Not that it is not a delightful bosom, white as snow, soft as goose down.” Her eyes drifted to the subject, her lips curling in a voluptuous smile.

That expanse of skin flushed red as she adjusted my linen collar.

“Thank you, Comtesse des Barres,” I stammered.

My mother smiled and took my hand. “Yes, thank you Comtesse.” She knew we lived in the backwaters of France, and were glittering bird like the Comtesse to become my patron, it would help me make much of my supposed beauty.

“Her hair is not dressed to her advantage either,” the Comtesse continued. She made me sit in her lap to arrange my hair. The scent of rose swirled around me as she moved, her diamonds throwing off little sparks of light. Each time her finger brushed my cheek, my heartbeat sped.

My mother clapped her hands in delight. “You were quite right Comtesse. Her hair looks almost as splendid as your own.”

“My woman, Madame Bouju, could teach her how to arrange her hair,” the Comtesse said, her elegant hands on my shoulders. She turned me toward her and kissed me. So many strange feelings rose in me at the feel of her lips against mine. I started when she spoke. “I will send her to you.”

“Nonsense,” the Abbe interjected, “you should not deprive yourself of your servant.”

My mother’s smile only faded for a moment before curling her lips again. “Why, it would not be necessary. I will send my daughter to you.”

The Comtesse caught my chin in her long fingers and took another kiss, this one lingering on my lips. “What a delightful idea.”

The night after that is a blur to me. I remember many wet warm kisses from the Comtesse and how they seemed to touch places of me that I didn’t know I had. Unable to contain my joy the next morning as we packed, I plagued the servants and pestered my mother.

I sent my maids running for ribbons and bagatelles. From my mother I wheedled the loan of half the family jewels.

The ride in the carriage was a veritable party, with the General’s whole family, the Abbe, the Cure. We surprised the Comtesse in a her pink dressing gown, white ribbon coronets in her hair, without a single patch to be seen. She greeted us as though she wore the finest velvets with a gracious curtsey. “Mesdames, now you have seen all my fashions.”

The Abbe took in her state of undress, and commented, “In my youth, I would prefer the shepherdess to the princess.” His words were accompanied with a lewd wink.

Everyone laughed, and the Comtesse kissed his cheek.

We were given rooms to wash and after that joined the Comtesse for refreshments downstairs. While we ate, Madame Bouju entered and tutted at my hair. “Yes,” she said, “this is badly done. Do not worry Madame de la Grise, by the time we are done with your daughter, people will think you have sent to Paris for a hairdresser.”

My mother smiled and thanked her. All I was aware of was the soft eyes of the Comtesse fixed on me. She sat beside me, and with both my hands caught in hers, she kissed me.

I’m not sure why, but I was impatient for the night to end. The Comtesse seemed anxious as well. The fine courtier she was, she hid it well, but I could see her mouth tighten as glasses were filled, toasts proposed, and old yarns unwound. Somehow, it ended, and we were at the door waving goodnight.

Madame Bouju dressed me for the night and showed me to the bed so I was by the petite ruelle. A moment later the Comtesse joined me in her gleaming white chemise, her eyes fever bright.

“Come here,” she said, lifting the sheets around her.

I pressed my body against hers and she caught my lower lip between hers. Her skin was hot through the thin fabric of our night clothes. I wound my arm around her neck, but instead she took one hand and pressed it to her flat chest with its slight swell of bosom.

A strange heat pooled between my legs. The Comtesse must have approved, for she coaxed it to burn brighter, her hands trailing down my back to cup my bottom, part my thigh. I rubbed against her leg, and the movements of her body spurned me on.

The Comtesse pulled away, and said in a low voice, “What a lovely mouth you have Agnes, and the swell of your breasts enchants me. May I see them?” As she spoke, she rolled me so I lay trapped between her arms, her body over mine.

Heat flooded my cheeks at her tender compliments, and with shaking hands I tugged loose the ribbon on my chemise. With a happy sigh, the Comtesse stroked my bosom, sending sparks through me as she touched their tips. I thought of her diamonds, the soft press of her lips against mine.

She shifted and I found her solid hipbone grinding into the juncture between my legs. The heat roiled in my core. Her mouth touched the soft skin of my bosoms and I couldn’t breathe. My hands clutched her clothes, her hot wet mouth closed over the bud of my breast, and I moaned.

“Come, my darling,” she said, and suckled on my bosom.

My body froze and gripped, my heart stopped, and pleasure exploded in me. The Comtesse smothered my cries with her kisses. Placing me in front of her, she pulled me back to her body, her hand nestled in my bosom. I fell asleep with her hips gently rocking against my bottom.

The next day I was distracted. I thought only of the night, when I would lay beside the Comtesse once again. I did my best to focus on my lessons, but I did poorly. The Comtesse was indulgent, soothing me with kisses and caresses.

We began again, as the night before, but her kisses became wild. Her tongue dipped into my mouth and danced. My hips bucked into her as she pulled at the hard points of my nipples beneath my chemise.

She lay above me above me and parted my legs with her knees. I stared as she drew my chemise over my waist. Taking my breast in her mouth again, all thoughts fled as her hot tongue lashed my nipple.

To the familiar heat between my legs, something new was added, like a firm rod covered in silk.

The Comtesse held my gaze for a moment before she bent down to give me a tender kiss, her lips lightly brushing over mine. It was like she was trying to tell me something important.

A moment later, her hands seized my shoulders in a strong grip and pain pierced the heat. Shocked, I opened my eyes to see the Comtesse straining about me, her mouth pulled down in a grimace.

I bore it a moment longer before I tried to push her off. “Madame, I don’t know what you’re doing, but it hurts.”

“Hush darling,” she said and tried to kiss me.

I twisted in her arms, but her grip was firm and she kept moving between my legs, thrusting into my gut inch by painful inch. Hot tears stung my eyes and the Comtesse drank them. So busy was she lapping at my cheeks, she did nothing to stifle my cries.

Madame Bouju peeked past the curtain and I felt shame at being caught in such an intimate embrace with the Comtesse. “Is all well?” she asked, a smirk on her wrinkled old lips.

“It was just a cramp Madame,” I mumbled. I winced as the Comtesse’s fingers dug into my shoulder.

“The pain will pass in a minute Mademoiselle, and then you will be pleased,” Bouju said before she disappeared.

I repeated the words in my head as the Comtesse started again, and there was pleasure after I had borne the pain. The Comtesse released her grip and I clung to her. A heat coiled where our bodies joined.

“Do you love me my darling?” the Comtesse asked, my nipple tweaked between her thumb and forefinger. Each word was punctuated with a thrust of her hips.

“I love you,” I said. She forced the breath from me with each jolt of her body. “And you will always love me?”

She did not answer, only kissed me some more with her greedy lips. The pressure in my belly built and finally released in a wave. The Comtesse moaned. She left me empty as the pleasure washed over me, and a hot liquid coated my stomach.

After she wiped me off, she kissed me and told me how beautiful I was. I fell asleep to her tender whispers.


And thus concludes the seduction of Mademoiselle de la Grise. Don’t fret, there’s more to the tale.

Dressed as a woman, the Abbe de Choisy often seduced women. In The Transvestite Memoirs, he tells of his affair with a young noblewoman, Mademoiselle de la Grise. At twenty years old, she is so sheltered she doesn’t realize the Comtesse des Barres (as the Abbe went by) is really a man. For the full story, see pages 71-96. Needless to say, liberties have been taken with the tale.

Redheaded Step-Child

09 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Adventures in Smut

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

blog hops, blogging, Erotica, Marketing, Self-publish, Writing

So, this is a post about sales, blogging, and how not to publish a story.

I see two blondes and a brunette, but no redheads.

Don’t publish it like a redheaded step-child, without even so much as an announcement on your blog. I mean, I’d like to welcome you all to purchase A Tale of Two Clitties, my latest smut! And yes, Dickens is rolling in his grave, and no, there’s nothing to be done about it, all his works are public domain.

Seriously though, the woman listed as its editor wasn’t aware it was out in the public, and a few people have bought it.

To boost sales, I’m going to try a Virginia, and burn out all my free days on Amazon. I’m going to take advantage sites listing books for free, and hope all goes well. Gutter Punk is a hop and a skip away from being ready to rock and roll, so I’ll finish off with that and get it out the door. Ditto Vanessa’s Affair (which will actually be sent off to a publisher).

After that, Vampire’s Gallery needs dealt with. I suspect most of my writing efforts will be going to produce little snippets of text for here and Literotica. I just can’t pursue a complex story and edit.

I’m on the fence about the utility of Blog Hops (I am the last person on the list for the Alpha-Male Hop), but at the same time too, not a lot of effort is required. I can pitch $5 in the pot, give away a book, and it’s not cost me much. Speaking of blog hops, I wish I wrote horror so I could put this Coffin Hop badge up. I might do it anyways. The Superjail! smut I wrote is kind of horrific.

One way I’ve increase blog traffic (and general levels of knowledge and amusement) is spending more times on other blogs. If I’m lucky, people come here and share their miscellaneous head leavings. The comments on my blog about picking up dog crap are pretty funny/informative.

While my dreams of going on a Lolita shopping spree have not materialized, altogether it could be worse.

The Golden Coin (#14)

07 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Six Sentence Sunday

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Free erotica, Free smut, Six Sentence Sunday, Vampire

18+Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema [Public domain], via WikiPaintings

 

Before I could react, Jafari was kissing up the underside of my cock. He reached the top and pulled back the foreskin to lick the head. Hewa leaned forward to fondle my balls, and I was soon rocking in her arms with the rhythm of her husband’s pulls.

“How delicious you taste Darius,” he said, rubbing my dick against his lips.

All I could do was moan. My breath came out in strangled gasps as he pressed his mouth over my dick, swallowing it to the hilt.


This is an original story, chronicling how three of the characters of my upcoming novelette, The Vampire’s Gallery, met. What you missed can be found here. It’s part of Six Sentence Sunday. Click the link for more awesome stories!
Please note: This is set around 1 BC, and is light when it comes to historical accuracy. I mean, no one’s going to whip out some matches or a PSP, but there are probably details I’ll get wrong.

Stay on the sunny side

05 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Uncategorized

≈ 13 Comments

I was in the backyard yesterday, playing dog turd or mushroom? (needless to say it’s been moist here) when I paused to admire the array of insects crawling around in my trusty pooper scooper. Each shit was its own little (little being figurative, our dog eats 4 cups of food a day) Noah’s ark, full of tiny black beetles, yellow wiggly things with legs, a swarm that flies off as I sidle up and scoop and flip and strain. The only thing I find enjoyable about the chore is all the creepy crawlies I get to eye up.

Remember the mention of moistness? It had been a while since I picked up dog crap. I mean, it’s not like you can’t find an excuse to not pick up dog crap. There was quite a variety out there, much of it a bit puddlish–too puddlish if you ask me. I got a little squeamish. The insects eschewed the round flat blobs I was lifting off the long grass. Now my mind was on Paris, and how this wasn’t a fraction as disgusting as the height of 16th century sophistication. St. Simon complained of the gardens of Versailles reeking of piss and tuberoses.

I’ll leave you with a passage from W. H. Lewis’ The Splendid Century:

Paris mud left an indelible stain on all it touched, and from whatever direction you approached the capital, Paris mud could be smelt two miles out the gates… In Paris, the stroller would find the same narrow thoroughfare, carpeted in filth, with the central gutter, or rather succession of stagnant pools, choked with dung, entrails, litter of all kinds: the droves of foraging pigs and poultry, the dark open-fronted cavernous shops, each with its trad sign suspended on a gallows and almost touching that of the next shop on the other side of the street: the mounds of human excrement and kitchen rubbish outside the doors, awaiting the arrival of the municipal cart to transport it out of the city, where it will be seized upon for manure by the suburban market gardener…

Yes it goes on. It’s times like these I don’t think we appreciate our garbagemen,  indoor plumbing, and insects (busy little recyclers) enough.

A Delicious Pairing: That’s Not My Name and Jane Eyre

04 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Uncategorized

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

jane eyre, that's not my name, the ting tings

*Warning: This post contains pop so sumptuously saccharine it will eat your soul and make you purchase it. I f–ing love The Ting Tings*

When I rode the bus to work, I generally did so with noise-canceling headphones in and my Kindle in my lap (okay, sometimes I dozed off or stared out the dirty window at the weeds).  The natural result of this is that I’ve come to associate songs with books.

I found a copy of Jane Eyre illustrated by Dame Darcy, and I picked it up for my niece. Of course, I’d never read the thing, something easily rectified by a quick trip to Gutenberg. At the same time, I downloaded I Started Nothing by The Ting Tings. That’s Not My Name stuck in my head like glue. When Jane says, “My name is Jane…” I had a ready retort. My brain stumbled over the “Elliot” bit, the full quote being, “My name is Jane Elliot.”

Although, either Jane or name set it off in my head, the snappy little reel of song. And here’s the real insidious bit, I didn’t mind a damn, I just fiddled with my mp3 player so I could hear it again. In fact, I’ll probably go watch that video one more time.

Going Nuclear

02 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Uncategorized

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

GMO, green energy, nuclear power, science, science reporting

I ran into a very interesting article on Reddit. It was talking about the gross negligence of both reporters and scientists who are writing about the harmful effects of GMO (genetically modified organism) foods. The scientists gave the reporters access to the study before it was published, as long as the reporters didn’t talk to anyone about it.

So, these reporters were given one story, the story this body of scientists wanted to get into the media, and they weren’t allowed to double check with anyone who might disagree.

This is not good science. The whole point of sharing results is so people find potential mistakes. Some of the most spectacular experiments turn out to be one hit wonders.

All these machinations of the scientists who published the GMO story were simple: they wanted to control the public narrative. With a general public that finds wading into matters scientific akin to wandering into a quagmire, getting in the first word is more important than getting the facts straight.

Look at the anti-vaccine movement. No science, all emotion. It preys upon the insecurity of parents, their terror that something they’re doing to help their child might actually harm them. The man was run out of England, the paper redacted, ulterior motives exposed, but still, people persist in the belief that MMR vaccines are linked to autism. No research supports this, the causes of autism are slowly being discovered, and the world is experiencing outbreaks of measles.

Another good example is the climate change narrative which is being driven by partisan politics. In the US, a larger percentage of Republicans do not believe in climate change. That’s because our scientific conversation about the topic was hijacked by people unconcerned with scientists. Thanks kids! Let’s hope all these scientists are just flipping out about nothing.

Of course, that leads into what popped into my head reading about GMO foods and their press problems—nuclear power needs to hire a better publicist. It’s actually a good option in an era of clean power, something which certainly deserves research dollars. Instead of building cleaner, newer, more efficient facilities, we have old ones. Why? Because nuclear power is scary. I’m not going to try and downplay the disasters that have happened, but many things we do have risks associated with them, such as offshore oil drilling. Wind and solar are great options for clean energy, as are modern nuclear power plants. Still, fear dominates the narrative; classic Homer Simpson fumbling obscures the science.

Hopefully, there will come a time when we put the facts first and our feelings second. I dream of a time where children are educated to dissect news articles, to question the results, to look to see if papers about science include links. Can you imagine if the general public was armed with a basic understanding of the psychology of media? The effect it would have on the scientific discourses of this country would be amazing. We’d be talking about science, and not our feelings or political convictions.

Orphan thought: The subversiveness of the printed word

01 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by antoinettemsmut in Adventures in Smut, Writing (Amateur)

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

censorship, Editing, the art of cruelty

I wrote a piece about censorship for Smutwriters, and I had to cut out this little thought because it didn’t fit. I loved it though, so I put it here instead:

In discussing the difference between visual mediums and the printed text, Maggie Nelson taps into the subversive nature of the printed word, “…An image created with words requires the aid of one’s own mind in its construction…it is precisely this sense of collusion between reader and text that can make the reading experience so guilt-inducing, so uncomfortable, so deeply wicked.” (The Art of Cruelty: A Reckoning). When we’re enjoying our smut, we’re actively picturing it, just like people actively pictured Emma Bovary’s carriage ride and William Burroughs centipedes copulating with who knows what.

I have lots of files named orphan this or that. It eases the pain of cutting out a hunk of text you love, because you lie to yourself and say, “I’m not deleting this, I’m just putting it over here until I find a home for it.” Of course, this home never materializes, and your orphan files end up being another thing you should probably delete, much like the 40 different cover versions I have for Love on the 500.

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Antoinette M–

SmutWriters, A Resource for Writers and Readers

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