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I was looking through Madame de Sevigne today, when I found a passage marked “hilarious”. It has the Chevalier de Lorraine addressing his former sweetheart, Fiennes:

Mademoiselle, what is upsetting you, why are you so sad? What is so extraordinary about all that has happened to us? We have loved each other and now we don’t, fidelity is not a virtue in people of our age. It is much better for us to forget the past and resume ordinary tones and manners. That’s a nice little dog, who gave it to you?

I love it: quit crying, nice dog.

I bet now you’re wondering what quote I was looking for. It involved the Marquise de Brinvilliers’ attempted suicide:

She had shoved a stick, guess where? Not in her eye, not in her mouth, not in her ear, not in her nose, not in the Turkish placeguess where? Anyway, she would certainly have died had not help come promptly.

My guesses are, the Turkish place is her cooter, and the stick went in ol’ brown eye.

These moments in history brought to you by Madame de Sevigne: Selected Letters, translated by Leonard Tancock.